How to teach children to express themselves properly when someone snatched items from him? Part 2

In Part 2, we will discuss how to help children who may be way too assertive and may use extreme ways such as snatching back, aggression to deal with situation when their toys are taken away. children who exhibit these behaviors probably has learnt from the past experience that snatching back is usually very effective in getting what they desire, and also they are likely to get overly frustrated towards upsetting events, and the more they are upset the less likely they are able to express themselves or use appropriate skills to get what they desire. Therefore, the first thing a parent need to do is the child should not get what he wants if he snatches, the child may escalate to more severe behavior, but parent has to insist at that moment. But more importantly, in the long run, parent needs to proactively teach child how to deal with frustration and how to use other appropriate ways such as give suggestions to effectively get things back instead of snatching.
(For frustration tolerance programs and implementation, please read ABA article on APSPARKS resources website: How to improve children’s tolerance level to failure?)

The below are some simple practice you can do to help practice your child to give suggestion

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1) “Let’s take turn, I go first”

A) Demonstration

Start with parent pretend to be child, and to model the target language phase

B) Role play
Encourage child to practice in role play and to use the target language phrase

C) Feedback
Give feedback and reinforcement. Have the child to experience the benefits associated with target phrase

D) Real scenario
After child has been more fluent in using the target language during role play, have him practice in the real scenario and give feedback and reinforcement accordingly

Remarks:
*Child may need to practice turn taking skills separately
*At the beginning of the practice, start with toys that are not super preferable; that may help to increase success of acquiring the language; gradually increase difficulty by practicing using highly preferred toys

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2) “How about you play this” and give others an alternative item simultaneously

A) Demonstration

Start with parent pretend to be child, and to model the target language phrase and the target behavior of giving out item

B) Role play
Encourage child to practice in role play and to use the target language phrase and target behavior

C) Feedback
Give feedback and reinforcement. Have the child to experience the benefits associated with target phrase and target behavior

D) Real scenario
After child has been more fluent in using the target language during role play, have him practice in the real scenario and give feedback and reinforcement accordingly

Remarks:
*At the beginning of the practice, put the alternative item very close, and gradually increase the distance
*In separate exercise, child may need to learn how to understand peer’s likes or preferences based on facial expressions, traits, age group, etc; so that in the long run, child will learn to give alternative items that are very likely to be accepted by others

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